Freakin

I'm kinda tired. I have really struggled lately with work. It has been very difficult for me, because of the experience I had last week. I had the opportunity to go to Lithuania. I went with a few other pastors and leaders in the Vineyard, and I absolutely loved the trip. It was so good to connect with such beautiful people and to see so much of God's glory. I got to minister to many people and pray for them. I was really moving in my gifts, and doing some real Kingdom ministry. It was like a drug, frankly.

It was really hard after that to go back to getting yelled at by a small-minded, stuck-in-a-box bureaucrat from the city offices. I have to deal with city officials daily. This particular one has completely stopped talking to me, because I stood up to him and called him on his shortsightedness. He has now taken to complaining about me indirectly to my boss. This doesn't mean anything practically, except that I keep hearing about it.

When you take time to really move in your gifts and in the power of the Spirit, it is so hard to settle for daily living. I did not move to Green Bay to get a job. My calling is to plant and pastor Adullam. This is not to say that my calling is higher than other callings, like to regular jobs or anything like that. I know many people who are called to their particular occupation. They are passionate about it, and they get life out of going to work at those jobs. It is when your calling is so much different than what you are currently doing, that the gap is so evident. I really want to go full time as a pastor some day soon. I want to devote all of my time and energy to my church and the people I have grown to love. I just pray that things start to fall into place, so that I no longer feel this disconnect.