"Oh, I am fortune's fool!"

I have been really bothered lately by all of the cheating that takes place in professional sports. Brian Belichick of the New England Patriots was fined $500,000 for filming signals of opposing coaches. One of NE's photographers had been kicked out of Lambeau during a game against Green Bay in the past. At that time, Green Bay personnel accused Belichick of illegally filming signals of our coaches. He denied it and claimed that he did not know the photographer. Now that he has been caught red-handed, he has confessed, but he says that he did not know it was against the rules, according to how he interprets the rule. If he did not know it was against the rules, why would he deny the activity in the past? I had always respected New England and Belichick, seeing them as an example of class and professionalism. Now, I have lost all respect for them, and I see all of their Super Bowl victories as being called into question.

We have a new home run record holder who has very obviously used steroids to make that record possible. We have a coach who has cheated to win for more than 4 years. I can't believe that people don't care about this. Where is the integrity of the game? Where is fair and honest competition? They have made no moves to strip these records from these cheaters. I believe they are being rewarded with fame, money, and power for breaking the rules. What Barry Bonds has done is at least as bad as the actions of Pete Rose. I think he should be kicked out of baseball for life. It is time to hold integrity up again as a core value.

Sergott '08

I have decided to throw my hat in the ring for candidacy for the office of President of the United States for the 2008 election. My slogan will be: "Vote for Sergott: At Least He's Not an Idiot".

• Levi, I have decided that you will be my secretary of defense. You get to bomb people and stuff. Cool, huh?

• Paul, you are heading up my committee on Global Warming, an issue near and dear to your heart.
  

• Greg, you will be my VP, because you can run around telling everyone that you invented the Internet.

• John, you are in charge of the Star Wars Defense System - the reason goes without saying.

• Teresa and Bethany, you two are in charge of making sure women finally get the right to vote, wear pants, and all that crap.
  

• Kirk and Amy, under my administration you two can just kick it in the White House. You two have done enough.

• Tad gets to be the "drunkel" (also with Levi) who hangs out in his underwear and black socks in the basement of the White House - we cannot risk losing a man like that in a nuclear attack.

Everyone in the church will get to do stuff in my presidency. I promise. In fact, that is the only promise I will make. We will take over the world! Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha ha......... So, comment and let me know what you'd like to do in my Cabinet. Help me conquer the world!