It is day two of my 40 day fast from any solid food. It has been interesting already, because I am getting in touch with some of my food issues. I have not been hungry at all, but it has only been about 30 hours or so since I last ate. Right now my body is in such disrepair, that I could live off my own body fat for 48.37 years.
Hunger is not the point, though. I am already realizing how much I grab some food, whenever I am stressed, nervous, thinking about something, watching TV, rewarding myself, working, or even breathing. While not even feeling hunger, I get some hunger-like pangs in my stomach at times when I would normally be snacking. It is amazing how much that krap can take over and become idolatrous. I love food. I love everything about it. Food is fun and good. I am a decent cook, so I love to eat my own creations. I love to have people over and cook for them as a way to connect. Food has become something really unhealthy for me. Even though all of those uses for food were good, I think I started to rely too much on the connected good feelings that come with the food. Like Pavlov’s Dog, I salivate every time I hear that bell. I want those feelings, so I connect to the food.
I have fasted for extended periods before, but never for this long. It changes the way I view it. It is no longer about just getting through it. This makes me deal with myself more, because I am looking at a month stretched out before me. The light at the end of the tunnel is dim indeed, so it is not helpful to even focus on that. I need to just deal with each urge and pang as they come. As Paul says, “Take every thought captive for Christ.” This is cool, because it feels good to not be stuffed. I feel like I am living leaner and more focused already. I am beating my body to make it a slave to Christ. Keep me in prayer, as I continue this journey.
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4 comments:
You can do it! I am just struggling with coffee and chocolate...can't imagine no solid food.
It has made me realize, as well, that I turn to chocolate, especially, many times a day when I feel a need to be filled. And normally I can't live without my morning coffee.
Take it one day at a time...one hour at a time...one minute at a time if neccesary. (old program talk) I like how you said you are beating your body to make it a slave for Christ. Well put.
You and your household are in our prayers.
I get you on this whole food thing. I have decided not to buy anything at work for lent. This might not seem like a big deal, but I was spending sometimes over 5 dollors a day.(added up in a week this is quite a bit) Yesterday I jumped at a co-worker that told me to have more water instead of soda.
One thing that I am learning is sacficing for the right reason. To beat my body so that it more like Christ.
God will help you in your journey, and you will be more complete because of it.
dude. you've been to lithuania and back...can't you at least BLOG!?
my name is Bill. i went to Lithuania. my basement flooded when i got home. i have lots going on, and no time to write. but i will VERY SOON! VERY VERY SOON. I promise! My friends would like that a lot. =)
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